What is YOUR Style Story?

The first Tuesday of the month, I have lunch with a good friend at the same restaurant, where I order the same food every time.  Well, today was different.  I got a salad.

There were some other differences as well, for instance, my friend had a new mascara- I noticed- and it looked awesome on her. She gave me the story behind the new brand- as women do- and it got me to thinking…

I have a story for everything I own, wear, and use- do you?  I mean when someone compliments your hair, do you say, “I was running late today and just left it” or if someone compliments your new jeans, do you bring their attention to the spanx you are wearing underneath to smooth out your shape?

As women we don’t just take compliments, we give stories.  “Nice Shoes” gets the response, “They are so old, I’ve replaced the heel already…” and “That’s an interesting top” is followed with, “My sister and I were in Hawaii and she had one and I wanted one, and there was only one available, so I ordered it online”.  

I compliment women all the time.  I always try to find something that I like about them, and let them know.  I do this because you just never know who needs a boost in confidence, and I want each and every woman to leave my presence feeling great about herself.  Also, you can tell a lot about a person by what their style story is.

I’ve got a breakdown of what I think women are like based on their responses to the “I like your…” statements:

“I got it on sale” says: “ I am frugal; I care about my image, but am not a slave to fashion; getting a good deal is better than being on the forefront of trends.

“I’ve had it forever” tells me:  “I am pleased with this purchase that I smartly made years ago, I wear classics cuts and can mix and match old with new and no one would notice. “

*Alternately, if this is said looking down, it means, “I feel like I’m not in fashion because I’ve not updated my wardrobe in years, and I don’t believe that you truly like it.”

“Thanks, it’s got a rip in it right here” pretty much tells me:  “I am not detail oriented and do not take initiative, so instead of fixing the rip, I’ll just show you so that I don’t actually have to do anything.” 

“Thanks! I got it for next to nothing because it was damaged, but I fixed it and now it’s perfect” shouts: “ I love a challenge! I’m an adventurous person and willing to take chances.  I’m confident, and a people person.”

“Thank you” is very simple, and a very rare response.  And it’s quite insightful.  Because to women, simply saying “Thank You” feels like we’re being rude.  It is not a natural feminine response, and shows that she has been largely influenced by men.  This woman has been taught to conceal much of her femininity, whether because of her career, or because of a traumatic childhood/past relationship.  The best case scenario of this type, is that she just doesn’t feel like people care what she has to say, and that it isn’t worth it to engage you the person doing the complimenting.

Of course, I’m only an observer, what do you think?  The next time someone compliments you, take note of how your respond, and think about what story you’re giving.